2020 intentions

These are my intentions for 2020, alternatively titled just Things I Want To Do in This Arbitrary Measurement of Time We Call a Year. That’s it, that’s the whole introduction.

  • stick to budget + a low buy year

This year my primary goal is to go on a low buy year. I’ll be diving into what a low buy year is on a later post but essentially it means buying less bullshit. In 2019 I started my first Real Job and therefore now have my first Salary which means I need to start acting like it and not be afraid to look at my bank account/learn about my financial wellness. I’ll be honest I hate that stuff and am working on healing my view of the toxicity of wealth as well as how addicted to capitalism and overconsumption I really am. This could/will be a whole post within itself so stay tuned for more.

  • go to therapy

I used to go to therapy but then I got lazy and quit. I think if everyone went to therapy the world would be a much better place. So everyone should have this one their list. That’s it, just go to therapy. (Obviously provided that it’s accessible, affordable and safe for you. We can talk about the inequity of our modern mental health system later because THAT is a real, real thing)

  • play an instrument

Since graduating college, I have a lot more free time on my hands and spend a lot less time going to bad frat parties so I need hobbies. Probably should have taken up hobbies a long time ago instead of going to bad frat parties. Hindsights 2020. But I digress. I played the clarinet for 10 years when I was younger and I didn’t realize how much I missed it until a few weeks ago. As I get older I’m letting the true nerd me come back out and she loves a good jazz clarinet. So I brought my old clarinet back from my parents home to my apartment and am buying a new reed and some jazz music sheets and my neighbors are going to hate me and I’m ecstatic.

  • take a class on art history

I miss classes. Again, I am re-realizing that perhaps I am much too embarrassing to be putting life so publicly on the internet but I really miss learning in a traditional classroom setting. And I regret not having learned more about art history. So my goal is to find an online class or lecture series or documentary series to take. Because that’s what socially adept 23 year olds do. 

  • journal!

I’ve always journaled but this year I want to take a new approach to journaling by incorporating more creativity/visuals/time into my work. Mainly I want less raw random scribbles and maybe something a little better to look at. Like I said, free time.

  • one international trip

This is a life goal I have to take at least one international trip a year. This year I want to limit to one because I went on two last year and I’ve realized I actually need to see a lot more of the country I live in… I hear it’s beautiful. 

  • go to yoga every week!

I used to do this but since graduating, I’ve struggled to commit to a studio and a time. But I think I found one I like and I need to just start treating it like a real thing. This is me doing that.

  • eat things that make me feel good + take vitamins

As a pretty naturally healthy person with a high metabolism my health has never been something I’ve had to think much about and that’s my privilege. But I want to stop taking my health for granted because this shit is gonna run out and my metabolism/immune system/cell replication will eventually catch up with me for treating my body like a bottomless pit that loves junk food for 23 years. I’ve noticed my energy levels dropping and generally feeling yuck and I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s because I haven’t taken a vitamin in years and drink pop like its water. So we’re trying to undo some of that. I will never be a salad-eating stick mainly because I think salads taste like leaves and life is too short to eat leaves (one time when I was little I ate a handful of grass after watching Bambi and some things you really can’t get past) but I think I could stand to eat a few more green things and a few less chips. Food and health is a deeply personal aspect of being alive and I don’t share it much because 1) every single body is different 2) it’s no one’s business what you consume but yours 3) it’s not something I think is all that interesting to talk or obsess about. So there won’t be many updates on that because I hate, hate, hate diet culture and on my one page on the internet that I can control, we’re just not doing that ever. 

  • remember all the things that make you 3D 

This is something I realized a couple days ago. I’ve been so focused on my job, career, future that I accidentally watered myself down to just that. I forgot about all the other little irrelevant, strange, interesting things I used to love like Broadway show tunes and clarinets and all different kinds of books and bad tv shows and DIY projects and singing in the car very loudly. I had decided I was ONE THING and perfect and flat and everything I did was relevant to that one thing but that’s not how humans are. At least not interesting ones. I have made myself very boring. So boring I am bored of myself. I hate how practical everything about me had become. I think sometimes we get so focused on our single brand/aesthetic/theme/I wish I had a better word for that we forget our own details and dimensions. Like the stuff that doesn’t really make sense but makes it sticky. I wanted my being to be easy and honestly, there is nothing easy about me. So yeah that’s some quarter life crisis stuff right there. I hope it makes some kind of sense. But also, I don’t really care if it doesn’t, that’s the main/only thing about complexity. It won’t always make sense.

  • avoid single use plastic

This is something else basic but I’ve needed to do for years and I finally feel like it’s attainable in my lifestyle. This means no plastic to-go cups, trying really, really hard to not buy things in single use plastic at the grocery store and not using disposable utensils, etc. I won’t be perfect at this and anyone who says there are is maybe lying or very privileged or just a much better person than me. But I’m really going to make a wholehearted effort and also not be so hard on myself when I mess up. Generally speaking but especially in this regard. Let’s get it.

  • learn french

Kind of random and perhaps un-useful but remember not everything has to be useful to be valid!!!!!! Down with utilitarianism, am I right? My grandma grew up in France and immigrated to the US and one of my life goals is to go back to her hometown in Alsace-Loraine called Epinal. The thing is they don’t speak a whole ton of English there so I need some basic level French to survive and also that’s just a beautiful ass language and you know it. So hello Duolingo.

Some people think resolutions are stupid. I might be one of those people, I don’t know. I mean I think randomly resolving to work out every day is probably not gonna happen, but who knows maybe for someone it is and also again, it doesn’t have to be perfect/useful/attainable/realistic/palatable to everyone to be valid. And that’s my resolution

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