the day everything changed

Everything changed the day that I realized I could be whatever kind of human I want to be. Sometimes you can feel in the bottom of your stomach and the tips of your shoulders what kind of human you should be. Sometimes your soul screams and your feet root to the ground and everything feels very wrong or very right. And you will want to ignore that shouting, that shrieking, that infinite pull because it is inconvenient. It was not in your perfect plan for a perfect life. It was not on the poster for ease and comfort. It is not what they tell you is correct. And crawling back into bed forever seems easier. But that will not make your heart pound drum beats or your chest fill with fire. And you will not be scared. That is your biggest loss. Choose to be terrified. Choose to like it. Choose to do it anyways. Cliff dive into your opposing current; into your fear. Someday we will be dust upon dust. Whether we come to this as fiery wonderful fearful and starry or as beige and safe. We are all headed to the same ends. Choose fire and discomfort and freedom and pure unmatched joy. People will tell you no. They will not understand. They will not agree. You will unintentionally hurt feelings and make mistakes. But you will be living. However scary, compare the risk of never living. Of surviving in a safe bland luke-warm shell. Free from risk, unharnessed by the stream. Burn a lot, be scared a lot, live more.

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