Here Comes the Sun

Here Comes the Sun

I have always prided myself on my inherant love for winter. The fact that I embrace the cold and ice because I like sweaters and coffee and fluffy snow and boots and scarves and fireplaces and also I immediately burn if the sun looks at me. And for someone who is thrown into a state of nauseas by any collection of more than 2 pastels, spring time has never been my favorite besides those candy egg things. But this year the tables have turned and I have avidly counted down the seconds until spring has sprung because winter at college is walking 5 miles in blustery winds and living in a petri dish of infections called a dorm and swearing you might never be able to feel your kneecaps again. And spring finally appears to be somewhat HERE. There’s something about a seventy degree + sunny day in March that makes even midterms seem fresh and warm and you remember why oh yeah you would ever enjoy being outside for more than 2.3 seconds at a time.IMG_0144.JPG

Changes in weather call for changes in a lot of things. Trade in boots for sandals, mochas for sweet teas, parkas for sunnies, the flu for allergies and black for actually, no wait, I still like black in the springtime too– oops. Change anything that is not in some way, shape or form making you feel very very alive. Spring cleaning is not just for the dusty corners of your bedroom. Sweep out subpar pastimes, dust off throwback friendships, and trade your grey and gloomy attitude for a decent sun hat. It’s amazing what a shift in outer layers will do for the soul. If winter was not your season here’s a new one. If you’re looking for a fresh start this is it.

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But the reality of this is that change is rarely simple or painless. It’s usually messy, chaotic and inconvenient. So prepare for some rain.

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In the springtime that’s what this wonderful shift in Fahrenheit tends to bring about. Days, sometimes even weeks, of h2O falling from the sky. Often with change, there’s some backlash mixed in with a bit of regret or nostalgia. It makes the ground soggy and everything smell like worms.

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People talk, thunder rolls, and it occasionally seems like cumulonimbus clouds will never subside and you should start building an ark. The reality of spring is not all sunshine and tulips, there’s a lot, a lot of mud. But eventually, after a sufficient amount of gross, the clouds part and here comes the sun do do do do ya know? So grab some rain boots (Hunter’s, matte black), a new camera (Canon Rebel Ti), an above average book (The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway), sunglasses (forever21) + some Peeps and let spring get to springing. 

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Everything changed the day that I realized I could be whatever kind of human I want to be. Sometimes you can feel in the bottom of your stomach and the tips of your shoulders what kind of human you should be. Sometimes your soul screams and your feet root to the ground and everything feels very wrong or very right. And you will want to ignore that shouting, that shrieking, that infinite pull because it is inconvenient. It was not in your perfect plan for a perfect life. It was not on the poster for ease and comfort. It is not what they tell you is correct. And crawling back into bed forever seems easier. But that will not make your heart pound drum beats or your chest fill with fire. And you will not be scared. That is your biggest loss. Choose to be terrified. Choose to like it. Choose to do it anyways. Cliff dive into your opposing current; into your fear. Someday we will be dust upon dust. Whether we come to this as fiery wonderful fearful and starry or as beige and safe. We are all headed to the same ends. Choose fire and discomfort and freedom and pure unmatched joy. People will tell you no. They will not understand. They will not agree. You will unintentionally hurt feelings and make mistakes. But you will be living. However scary, compare the risk of never living. Of surviving in a safe bland luke-warm shell. Free from risk, unharnessed by the stream. Burn a lot, be scared a lot, live more.